To sum up....

HOLY FUCK.

Holy fuuuuuck.

Fuck holies.

FUCK.

So, we got drunk Friday night. I had a couple of glasses of wine... maybe equaling one medium glass, and 4 shots of whiskey. Guy and Friend both had 7 shots of whiskey and large glasses of wine and then Friend (Fri) barfed.

This guy that I've been interested in - with the understanding that he was never going to be interested in me - and I took care of our EXTREMELY drunk Fri, and then ended up cuddling all night long.

Sometime during the night he mentioned that he would be open to helping me... hmmm... become less of a sexual amateur. In much better wordage.

We cuddled... And I really REALLY am a fan of cuddling. Huge fan. He's fucking fantastic at cuddling.
I also like turning people on... Not sure why, other than that its fun. But he was definitely turned on (boner in the night and morning, a few times).

We all got up in the morning (4 of us slept in the same general area), and he went back from really cuddly guy to... his normal self essentially. Except I have a feeling I could touch him a bit more than anyone else can without it being a big deal.

So then last night, in a tent with him and one of our friends, after I got a fucking lovely back massage (and gave him a hand massage), I asked for clarification...

No. I'm fucking with the story here, and I do so love it's details.
I was giving him shit for having such a fast heartbeat and breathing, and he took it, but then leaned down and whispered in my ear something along the lines of "You realize that my level of arousal could have definitely had something to do with it?"

At which point my nether regions did a collective "Hmmmmmm" happy humming feeling.

I asked why he was aroused and he said something along the lines of "Well, contact at all tends to turn heterosexual guys with a libido on, and full body contact is... even better."

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I really liked sleeping next to Guy. Really did.

Really am not liking being alone in my big bed tonight.

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I said something like "In regards to your... offer the other night... Did you mean it?"

And he said yes, and that even while drunk he has never made an offer like that, especially not one that he didn't mean.

And I asked why... Why me?

He said...

You're sensual, uninhibited, something something boobs something fun something

And he said that he can separate 'adult play' from his emotions. And if I can't, I should say no, but if I can... the offer stands.

I said I wasn't going to be deciding last night, and he said he hadn't expected so, and I definitely didn't have to. If I decided, let him know, be it tomorrow, in 6 weeks or 6 months.

And then he got in my sleeping bag with me until I warmed up enough to fall asleep.

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So fuuuuuck if I know what I am going to do.

Except be pissed that my period came 2 weeks early.

And be lonely in bed here.

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We did a lot of other stuff too, as a group, but that's whats been on my mind the whole time pretty much.