Day 04

Day 04: Something you have to forgive someone for.

Something? Hmmm, hard to write about. Someone would be easy.

I have to forgive _________ for fucking with me when I was 11-12. Maybe 9-10 and 11-12, simply because that is when I knew him.

Also, ___________ for the time we were 'friends', 4-14.

Both of them, for bullying me.

You instilled in me a laughter mechanism that doesn't shut off.

When I'm scared, I laugh.

When I'd rather scream, I laugh.

I also have serious trust issues, because of you two.

But maybe I need to forgive myself, instead of you.

Maybe I don't need to forgive anything.

I just cannot waste anymore of my life caring about it.

Yes, you both did shitty things to me.

Yes, there are some parts of me that are fucked up because of you.

But wasting more of my time/thoughts/life on thinking about my lack of forgiveness/thoughts/time spent on thinking about this?

Now that is a waste.

I need to forgive myself... for the things I haven't yet.